I realized with a shock today that Kyra is very, very spoilt. I think the large part of the reason is nature - she has always been impatient and bad tempered. When she was a baby, when she was hungry, she wanted her milk immediately and there was no waiting for her. If not fed immediately on demand, she wailed and kicked so wildy that her Grandma was terrified of her. If she was supposed to wake at 4 am, Grandma woke at 3 am, prepared her bottle, set the warmer to low so that by 4, the bottle will be not too cold and not too hot - at precisely the temperature that Kyra liked. I gave a shrug as I heard this elaborate SOP.
Now, at 6 months, Kyra has indeed come to know the temperaments of the people around her well. She knows very well who she can bully and manipulate to have her way. As the Grandparents will never let her cry for more than a minute, she can sometimes make them carry or rock her in the stroller her whole nap. Fortunately for them, Kyra has never been a good napper, only sleeping for 45 min to an hour max.
So today, I'm taking care of her full time and during her naptime, I rocked her and sang to her so she can go to sleep. I don't carry her the whole time, just the start. I don't wait till she's in deep sleep before I gently put her down. I count 300 to myself and then I put her down. (Don't ask me why 300 or why counting. Just knowing there's an end to this monotonous task makes it easier for me). As usual, she refused and kicked up a fuss when she got put down. She gave this maddening shriek repeatedly that I think will destroy her vocal chords. If she can't sing in future, it's not my fault - it's all hers. Now this is a usual behaviour of her and I realized with a jolt that I am getting used to the temper tantrum and I'm thinking this is perfectly normal. NO! This is NOT NORMAL and NOT ACCEPTABLE. So I tried during this behaviourist thing that if she shrieks and arches her back, she'll go back down into the cot. When she stops, I'll carry her. But she didn't cooperate and kept shrieking and arching her back, which made it difficult and dangerous to carry her. So I just left her crying in the cot and walked out.
That was the best decision I've made and I will remember to stick by this in future. In less than 20 minutes, she was fast asleep after using up her energy shrieking. When the second naptime came, around 4 pm, I carried her and rocked her, said I love her, and down she went. She didn't shriek but just whined a bit. In less than 15 minutes, she went to sleep, and hence, I am writing this post now.
I was complaining to the Hubs that I really feel very alone in this journey of training and disciplining. It seems like I'm the only one who is the recipient of her bad behaviour. Who doesn't want to be Baby's favourite adult? Who wants to intentionally, purposefully be the cause of her crying? But I knew this is a battle that I had to win - the first of many. If she's shrieking to be carried today, she'll shriek for toys in a year's time and that same shriek will annoy the life out of me for the rest of my days. I'm not blaming the Grandparents, or the Auntie and Uncle for doting on her. I really appreciate them showering her so much love. But I've come to accept the fact that disciplining and training is a job only for the parents. After all, God gave 2 sets of grandparents, numerous uncles and aunties, but only 1 father and 1 mother. The sole responsibility of training was given to the parents.
Ephesians 6:4
Though Paul only said "Fathers", but I think Mothers too right? So the next question begs, "What is the training and instruction of the Lord?" That warrants another post for another day. I'll think about it again. Anyway, the Hubs said he's in this disciplining thing with me so I'm not alone. That's good. At least, he didn't say he'll play the good cop and I'm the bad. In the case of Kyra, she has too many good cops around already.
One of the first few times Kyra fell asleep on her own. Looks like she got hit by a brick.
She cried for a long time before finally giving into exhaustion. When we found her, we realized why. Her lower body was locked between bars. Not being able to move, she was able to settle herself into sleep.
Now, at 6 months, Kyra has indeed come to know the temperaments of the people around her well. She knows very well who she can bully and manipulate to have her way. As the Grandparents will never let her cry for more than a minute, she can sometimes make them carry or rock her in the stroller her whole nap. Fortunately for them, Kyra has never been a good napper, only sleeping for 45 min to an hour max.
So today, I'm taking care of her full time and during her naptime, I rocked her and sang to her so she can go to sleep. I don't carry her the whole time, just the start. I don't wait till she's in deep sleep before I gently put her down. I count 300 to myself and then I put her down. (Don't ask me why 300 or why counting. Just knowing there's an end to this monotonous task makes it easier for me). As usual, she refused and kicked up a fuss when she got put down. She gave this maddening shriek repeatedly that I think will destroy her vocal chords. If she can't sing in future, it's not my fault - it's all hers. Now this is a usual behaviour of her and I realized with a jolt that I am getting used to the temper tantrum and I'm thinking this is perfectly normal. NO! This is NOT NORMAL and NOT ACCEPTABLE. So I tried during this behaviourist thing that if she shrieks and arches her back, she'll go back down into the cot. When she stops, I'll carry her. But she didn't cooperate and kept shrieking and arching her back, which made it difficult and dangerous to carry her. So I just left her crying in the cot and walked out.
That was the best decision I've made and I will remember to stick by this in future. In less than 20 minutes, she was fast asleep after using up her energy shrieking. When the second naptime came, around 4 pm, I carried her and rocked her, said I love her, and down she went. She didn't shriek but just whined a bit. In less than 15 minutes, she went to sleep, and hence, I am writing this post now.
I was complaining to the Hubs that I really feel very alone in this journey of training and disciplining. It seems like I'm the only one who is the recipient of her bad behaviour. Who doesn't want to be Baby's favourite adult? Who wants to intentionally, purposefully be the cause of her crying? But I knew this is a battle that I had to win - the first of many. If she's shrieking to be carried today, she'll shriek for toys in a year's time and that same shriek will annoy the life out of me for the rest of my days. I'm not blaming the Grandparents, or the Auntie and Uncle for doting on her. I really appreciate them showering her so much love. But I've come to accept the fact that disciplining and training is a job only for the parents. After all, God gave 2 sets of grandparents, numerous uncles and aunties, but only 1 father and 1 mother. The sole responsibility of training was given to the parents.
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Though Paul only said "Fathers", but I think Mothers too right? So the next question begs, "What is the training and instruction of the Lord?" That warrants another post for another day. I'll think about it again. Anyway, the Hubs said he's in this disciplining thing with me so I'm not alone. That's good. At least, he didn't say he'll play the good cop and I'm the bad. In the case of Kyra, she has too many good cops around already.
One of the first few times Kyra fell asleep on her own. Looks like she got hit by a brick.
She cried for a long time before finally giving into exhaustion. When we found her, we realized why. Her lower body was locked between bars. Not being able to move, she was able to settle herself into sleep.
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